Hi Ali.

The dissolving into uncertainty as described in B 3.4( http://guidestoenlightenment.com/b-3-4-how-does-one-experience-the-uncertainty-of-being-set-face-to-face-with-reality/ ) is a clear sign that you are successfully setting yourself face-to-face with reality. Be satisfied with your progress. The kind of illusory certainty you experienced before will not return. What happens is that soon a deep understanding – faith, if you like – arises that, although the future is hidden, everything that happens to you is structured by Karma with infinite compassion to take you further on the far journey.

Alongside the dissolving of certainty is bound to come a crisis of motivation. This crisis is a further eroding of the personality by the process of reality.

As you set yourself clearly face-to-face with reality you come to realise that the original motivation was personality driven – if I become enlightened I will be universally respected, women will fall at my feet, I will never want for money, ice-cream, etc etc, all great personality preoccupations!

What replaces it? Perhaps the growing realisation that, in the end, nothing else is of lasting importance. But also that the far journey IS the “great adventure of the human spirit” AND “it is your destiny” just as promised in the preface to BTP.

You have asked the same question, essentially, in two places, so I have combined both topics here.

Ali, I suspect that you are always going to find understanding the nuances of the English used in BTP difficult if you were not brought up with it as your first language. You will have to take great care that you read the words from a Western cultural context should you wish to follow this system. It is one more layer of difficulty that you will have to overcome. Of course, it is part of your karma.

Your question regarding chapter 5 and the stabilising meditations is an example of that misunderstanding. It is completely clear to me that it refers to the meditations within chapter 5, and not chapter 2, for instance, and I cannot imagine how many other little traps there are for someone reading this stuff who has not been completely immersed in Western language and culture from birth.

So, I think you will have to spend even more time re-reading the book than a second generation Westerner. For instance, at present you are centred sometimes, occasionally, but it comes and goes: re-read carefully para 3.5.1 until you understand it.

One thing you say that is definitely correct, it is essential that you meditate every single day for a minimum of 15 minutes. Whether you know it yet or not, it is the foundation of your developing awareness and one of the sources of your developing power.

The reconciliation of your developing awareness with your day-to-day responsibilities is another question you raise, which makes me wonder when you last read the book thoroughly: this is discussed in several places, and is indeed very important, as the responsibilities of a westerner on the path of spiritual development are very different from an easterner.

Read and re-read the book, is the key message here. If you want to be sure you haven’t missed anything, use the search facility on this site. For instance, searching for “responsibility” brings up a load of relevant information. Most seekers following this system have read BTP so often that they know it by heart, but you may still need to re-read it even then to be certain of the exact wording and meaning.

And , as you discover these misunderstandings within yourself, please comment under the relevant paragraphs so that others with a similar background to you will be less likely to fall into the same errors, should they find their way here. This would be a service to them that will, of itself, help you to transform your life too.